Feedback That Lands: Using the SBII Framework

For most people, giving feedback is hard.

And for most driven folks, it’s both deeply wanted and quietly avoided; we crave more of it and know we should be giving more.

Technical, objective feedback might come more easily when there’s a clear right or approved way of doing something. But when feedback is about behavior, leadership presence, or performance that’s not meeting expectations, many of us hesitate.

We draft the email, play the conversation in our heads, imagine the awkwardness, and

then… wait. Sometimes until the moment passes. Or we go in hot and walk out with a relationship that needs repair.

And yet, when it’s done well, feedback really is a gift.

Not the hollow kind (“Great job!”), but a genuine act of care — one that says, I believe in your ability to grow, and I’m willing to join you in that discomfort.

Giving and receiving feedback is an essential leadership and life skill. One that builds trust, strengthens accountability, and aligns expectations across teams.

When offered as a piece of data, feedback deepens learning and growth. In teams with strong trust and transparent communication, it becomes an ongoing dialogue that strengthens performance.

It should also be frequent.

When feedback only shows up at annual reviews, it loses power. In the organizations I work with, “better feedback” or “a culture of feedback” is almost always at the top of the wish list.

People crave clarity. They want to know where they stand.

Not getting a promotion stings less when the “why” is transparent. Getting feedback helps us get better and can make our lives easier when something’s not working.

Teams function best when feedback is part of the water, not a rare event that sends ripples of anxiety across the room.

Start With Self-Awareness

Most of us give feedback the way we like to receive it. If you’re comfortable with a fast pace and value directness, you likely deliver with blunt clarity. If you prize relationships and stability, you might soften the message or delay it to preserve harmony.

Neither approach is wrong, but both have limits. The mismatch can create confusion: one person feels blindsided; another feels the point got lost in all the softening.

Tools like the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument or DiSC can help you

recognize your preferences and better understand those of your teammates.

The more awareness you build, the easier it is to flex your approach in real time.

The SBII Feedback Framework

The Center for Creative Leadership’s Situation–Behavior–Impact–Intent/Inquire (SBII) model provides a simple structure for giving feedback that’s both clear and human.

It slows you down just enough to be precise and respectful and keeps you from vague generalities (“communicate better”) or judgments about intent. The result is a shared picture before deciding what to do next.

Here’s how it works:

Situation – Reference a specific situation to give context. Be clear about the time, place, and circumstances.

Behavior – Describe observable actions — what a video camera would capture. Avoid judgment or guessing at motives.

Impact – Explain how the behavior affected you, others, or results. Use “I” statements and stay factual.

Intent/Inquire – Share why you’re offering the feedback or what you hope will come from it. Ask what support the person might need.

Why SBII Works

SBII creates shared pictures quickly. It helps both parties slow down enough to see the same thing before deciding what happens next.

That clarity strengthens trust and keeps emotion from hijacking the message.

Examples in Action

Constructive Feedback

“In Monday’s program meeting, when we were discussing X (Situation), you joined about ten minutes late and seemed to be catching up on emails while others were presenting updates (Behavior). I noticed a few team members hesitated to share after that, and it shifted the energy in the room (Impact). I wanted to bring this up because being fully present in these meetings helps us model the company values. Is there something about the timing or format that makes it hard to be fully engaged? (Intent/Inquire)”

Follow-Through Feedback

“In Friday’s project update (Situation), you mentioned you hadn’t followed up with the partner as planned (Behavior). It left the team unsure about next steps and delayed some of the prep work (Impact). I wanted to check in because your follow-through is usually really strong. What got in the way this time, and what support would help keep things moving next week? (Intent/Inquire)”

Positive Feedback

“In this afternoon’s debrief (Situation), you named your mistake early and walked the team through what you’d do differently next time (Behavior). It created space for others to be honest about their own learning and helped the group focus on improvement, not blame (Impact). I really appreciate you modeling that kind of accountability (Intent/Inquire).”

“In last week’s strategy session (Situation), you summarized the group’s ideas clearly and helped us stay on track when the discussion was looping (Behavior). That gave everyone direction and energy. I felt more focused and confident about our next steps (Impact). I wanted to name that because your ability to synthesize is a real asset to the group. How can we make sure you have space to keep doing that in future meetings? (Intent/Inquire)”

Susan Scott’s Invitation: Make It Real

As Susan Scott writes in Fierce Conversations: Achieving Success at Work and in Life One Conversation at a Time,

“The conversation is the relationship.”

Feedback isn’t a performance; it’s a moment of connection. Her invitation is to come out from behind yourself, into the conversation, and make it real.

Drop the polite script. Say the thing that is both true and kind.

When you offer your true self with care, others recognize it and respond.

SBII gives that honesty a structure so it lands.

Making Feedback a Cultural Habit

If feedback only happens when something goes wrong, it will feel like punishment.

The teams that do it well weave it into daily rhythms, short reflections after meetings, quick SBII check-ins, or “15% solutions” that invite small, immediate improvements.

If feedback matters, ask for it often. Make time for it. Create space to practice it.

The point isn’t perfection; it’s movement.

Frequent, thoughtful feedback builds trust, agility, and shared responsibility. It normalizes the idea that everyone, regardless of title, is both a teacher and a learner.

Common Pitfalls

• Giving advice instead of describing behavior

• Guessing at intent (“You must have been frustrated…”)

• Focusing on personality rather than actions

• Skipping the “impact” step — where meaning and motivation connect

Reflection Questions

Use these before you give feedback or afterward, to debrief.

Start Here

• What is at risk if I don’t have this conversation?

• How could this feedback benefit me, the recipient, and our organization?

  
  

Go Deeper

• What outcome do I actually want from this conversation? What does success look like?

• What’s the simplest, truest thing I can say that would be helpful right now?

• Where might my style (direct, softening, delaying) help, or get in the way?

• What is the recipient’s preferred feedback style? How might I adjust to meet them where they are?

• How will I invite their perspective so this stays a conversation, not a monologue?

Try It This Week

Think of one small piece of feedback, positive or constructive, that you’ve been holding back.

Use SBII to frame it.

Bring Susan Scott’s guidance with you: come out from behind yourself and make it real.

Notice what shifts when clarity meets care.